"I was once like you, dead inside, but now

"I was once like you, dead inside, but now I have alcohol." Grandma froze. Her infant grandchild smiled at her, and said, "That's right, I am your reincarnated ex-husband and

carried on like every other "normal" Grandmother. She waited until 5 p.m., the witching hour for seventy somethings, and headed out for a bite. Her mind drfited back to

the early days of witchcraft, the 13th century, before the Malleus Maleficarum took the wind out of the sails of European witchery. "Blueberry waffles," the grandmother ordered.

We cackled and stirred the cauldron. "Blue of berry, wheat of flour, yeast to rise for half-an-hour. Batter, Batter, Boil and bubble, Belgian-made and batch it double!" The waffles

we concocted were, of course, bewitched. One bite of their Belgian blueberry deliciousness & patrons of Macbeth's Cafe would transform into unemployed Shakespearean actors.

Our magic worked. A fat guy sitting at the counter stood up. "To eat or not to eat? That is the question." He paused dramatically. "'Tis these waffles that doth maketh me jolly!"

Another late night customer at the diner chimed in then, "How poor are they that have not pancakes!" He continued, "By the prickling of my gums, something sticky this way comes!"

"Is this a burger which I see before me, Come, let me clutch thee. I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. Art thou a burger of the mind?" "Your order's on its way, smartarse,"

snarked the waitress as she filled the glass with iced tea. "By the seeds upon the buns, something bovine this way comes?" he quoth. "Well done is done."