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Winston Smith looked at the telescreen.

  • Winston Smith looked at the telescreen.

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  • On the screen, he found Amy Shumer talking about her vagina for the hundredth time on Comedy Central.

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  • "Amy, the world is so diverse & interesting. Look up! Look around! There's more to life than raunch!" he spoke into the TV. "I'm going to switch channels if you don't..." Amy

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  • turned her head let out a long, loud burp. "Been saving that one up, haven't you?" Amy smiled. "You betcha." She'd been guzzling carbonated beverages for the last several days. It

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  • had taken her years of epiglottal training to be able to hold all that gas in her stomach for so long, but the payoff was colossal. Amy was no longer the Belching Queen, and had to

    3
  • relinquish the crown and don the bullfrog head hat, 3" wide black satin ribbon tied into a floppy bow beneath her chin symbolized the death of her reign as Belch Queen

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  • The once unconquerable Belch Queen, now the conquered ex-queen, reluctantly rescinded her rule.

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  • The Belch King drank chartreuse in a desperate effort to belch less. He ruled for 381 years after ending The War of The Roses which began 1563.

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  • As we know, they never got the future they had envisioned. Their initial premise was at fault. The Multiverse had no necessity for any teleological intent because that way led to m

    2
  • agic bean-pixies. Or is it magic-bean pixies? The magic bean pixies looked surprised. They had never given their existence that much thought. "Ontology is not our forte."

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6 Comments

  1. Woab Dec 29 2017 @ 11:58

    Interesting unseen thread from belching to magic bean pixies.

  2. LordVacuity Dec 29 2017 @ 12:14

    To be fair, ontology is not the forte of anything that doesn't exist.

  3. LordVacuity Dec 29 2017 @ 12:21

    Besides, it was 1984. why was a 3 year old Amy Schumer on Winston Smith's telescreen talking about her vagina? Is that the kind of programming Big Brother was into?

  4. Gibber Dec 29 2017 @ 21:25

    This is a modern remake in the current dystopia.

  5. Woab Dec 30 2017 @ 10:59

    Dystopian dispepsia?

  6. Gibber Dec 31 2017 @ 00:00

    How many fingers?

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