Dear Abby, Why does my Venus Flytrap plant

Dear Abby, Why does my Venus Flytrap plant keep grabbing at the zipper on my trousers? - Baffled Botanist in Boston

Dear Baffled, because you hang old fly paper from your zipper and the fly trap is hungry. But the real question is what is the deal with all the ants in your

ass, you fruity bastard? They keep crawling up my nose and I am 2 growls away from showing you what a REAL Kar'takin is!" Lovingly, Warf.

Counselor Troi finished reading. "It's clearly not from Worf. Too eloquent & he spelled his name wrong. What do you think Will?" Riker snapped his gaze up from Troi's chest. "Huh?"

her car. This was going to be the last time she would ever give Riker a second chance. She had let him get away with this childish crap for far too long.

Riker settled in the passenger seat and fixed his safety belt, grinning at Troi. She ignored him, staring icily into the black clouds of the approaching storm. Data surprised Riker

by hitting Troi with a full-blast phaser stun. He met Riker's shocked expression with a near-human shrug. "It was rude of her to not respond to your non-verbal communication."

"You FOOL!" Riker sputtered. "I was receiving strong pheromone messages from her! Now she's...She's..." Riker lunged at him, knocking the phaser stun from his hand. "I'm gonna

hi eat lunch!" Riker left them puzzled, Riker can not receive messages of strange pheromone when he's hungry, "Here, have a snickers," offered Data. Earth was saved again, somehow.