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Awkardly, I struggled to make a joke, dealing

  • Awkardly, I struggled to make a joke, dealing with stressful situations in the only way I ever did. How was I to know

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  • that right behind me a priest, a rabbi and a goat herder had just entered the bar, but for real. The bartender made the "cut" gesture, but I missed it and finished "so God blew

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  • and they were Scattered," on my theremin. The Priest, Rabbi and Goat Herder grabbed Appletini's and took the closest table near the stage. They drained their drinks while staring

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  • at the escape artist. When he was free, the Priest exclaimed, I bet you can't do Vatican. The Rabbi began Torah his approval, but the goat harder called him a Crook.

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  • which was fine, since he was. What none of them knew was that he was also rode dolphins at a water show. On porpoise.

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  • He had a whale of a time skating along the water surface while the tuna sellers sharked the audience for all the clams they had.

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  • The tuna sellers, y'see, were robbers, and by clams they meant money. Our hero skated towards the robbers, mackerel in hand

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  • as he tried to recall his secret Fishjitsu training. He remembered the single most deadly move, the "Fish Fist of Flaming Fury", and he spun the mackerel so fast it ignited.

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  • Losing control for a split second, the flying fish hit a badly positioned wrecking ball, showering the gathered crowd with charcoaled mackerel. The erotic explosion of gore

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  • excited every woman who had ever been in close contact with aquatic life. Unknown to the crowd, a sinister barred owl sat in wait atop a skyscraper, knowing his plan had succeeded.

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