Down on my luck. "DUCK. DONG. MADAM WONG"

Down on my luck. "DUCK. DONG. MADAM WONG" read the fortune. I squinted making out "wonglongtimeloanscheap.com". HopefuI, I typed the address into the computer at an internet cafe

Moments after filling out the online application, I got a text from Madame Wong herself. "Xie Xie for contacting wonglongtimeloanscheap.com. U want loan? Come see me chop-chop.

"Wha' u wan'? Numma 44?" I was in Bansai!! Mme Wong's financial emporium. "A loan, a big one," I muttered. Her eyes, 2 crows smashed into a chalk cliff, narrowed. She lit a sm

ilodon fossil with the butt of her cigarette, gathered the resulting ash, mixed it with leftover miso, then set it before me. "Drink!" Mme. Wong demanded, pelting me with wingnuts

.'Yes, Ma'am! Please stop hitting me! That fossil-miso soup with just a dollop of fresh ash looks so...tempting,' I cried, wondering whether Wong would be satisfied with this.

As predicted, Wong was not too happy, and threw me into a well as punishment. There I stayed for nearly 700 years, sobbing gently to myself, until the happy day I was rescued by a

nother Wong. Must've been Wong's great- great- great- great- great- great-granddaughter Nguyen Wong. She heard me crying when no one else could. I must've looked

ridiculous because I supposed to be in charge. People kept calling me Admiral. But I was confused. I mean, who am I? I'm just some idiot Mon Calamari. I want to hide.

"Hiding is for those who want to survive," he thought. Mon Calamari stood up straight, looked squarly into the camara and said, "He who wants to live, follow me!" The cheering