Once upon a time, there was a girl who wanted

Once upon a time, there was a girl who wanted to teach middle school. She studied very hard in high school and decided to go to Georgia Southern University to get her degree

in Lanugage Arts and Reading. She was not prepared for all the long hours and hard work she would have to put into achieving her goal, so she

decided to hire an assistant to help with the work load. The new assistant, Angelica, was really a fairy godmother. She wanted to make the wishes of all teachers come true by

raising test scores of their students by telepathically increasing their intelligence. A sudden jump in performance caught the attention of auditors for the NAEP. Angelica regrette

d her name. She'd always hated it because it reminded her of an empty warehouse down on the wharf. This is why she used her telepathic powers to ruin the lives of students by

projecting their future hangovers into their minds all at one time. In colleges across the nation a collective cry went up in dorms and communal bathrooms. The rancid stench of vom

it hung in the air like shoes on a power line.Tons of pictures of hurling college kids posted on the CDC's Facebook page. CDC, unaware they all had hangovers, declared an outbreak

of sneaker-odor-malaise, and warned the country that the approaching spring-like temperatures would likely lead to many such outbreaks, unless certain steps - such as the foxtrot,

the quickstep and the waltz - are taken. Seriously, have you ever noticed Fred Astaire's feet smelling bad? Well, maybe right now they do. There is only one cure for stinky feet:

rubbing them with fresh mandrake root. Of course you will die if you pull up a mandrake root & hear it scream. It's a conundrum - foot odour or death. I just can't decide.