He dreamed he had infected every last one

  • He dreamed he had infected every last one of his students with a mixture of bubonic plague, anthrax and a particularly nasty variety of herpes. For the first time in months, he

  • drank to excess. It was his weakness and he could not shake his addiction. His students never even noticed because they were too busy updating their Facebook pages and

  • texting their friends. The instructor took another swig from the bottle and sighed. "Y'know kids, I never had the chance to tell you one of my deepeth secrets." He had their

  • undivided attention now. He burpled. "I am hot for Mith Thmith." Then the teacher passed out. His students sat there slack-jawed. Miss Smith? The principal?! OMG! They tweeted

  • and then went back to staring at the teachers. Passed out. "HERE!" Malingus, the big kid, pulled a bottle of Rumpelmintz out of Ms. Smith's drawer. He sniffed it and said, "Smooth

  • sailing. The lady gots taste." Malingus rifled through the rest of Ms. Smith's belongings. "Butterfly knife. Racetrack stubs. Ribbed condoms. The lady lives good." When the teacher

  • Was finished with her lecture on Shakespeare, she found her bag and didn't know they went through It. How could that happen?

  • She knew how it happened but not until years later when she realized that they had. It was because she was thinking about Roger Bacon, The Real Shakespeare, so had not noticed they

  • had dressed the pigs in Shakespearean costumes and were quoting Roger instead of Francis Bacon. She simply assumed that they had wanted a more cultured breakfast (or gone mad).

  • Luckily Piggy Wigston caught her cue and stood in his fine doublet and ruff to raise a toast, which began, "How beautiful these portions, and how interesting their proportions."



  1. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 21:47

    A quibble moat that one, a quibble moat. Harumphhhhhh Harumphhhh!

  2. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 21:50

    I am taking my mace and going home. You big dullard! Because your liege asked you to. Tell that to the priests. Do they follow the dead one or me, the live one?

  3. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 21:53

    The dead one won't get far but the live one is running in place. So what's to follow? So status quo happens.

  4. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 21:56

    So everybody mulls around in circles pretending that they/I don't see their reflections in the shiny signs that are supposed to distract us but mainly anger us.

  5. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 21:57

    But we don't know why.

  6. PurpleProf May 11 2017 @ 22:01

    I am thinking that "lecturing on Shakespeare" is a euphemism for...something. Haha!

  7. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 22:02

    Where does the angry come from? What forests does it roam in, to and fro, to and fro? With a sing song tail that trails out into the nothing, a gathering of flames, unexpected but still gathering dust as if they were. Her Silence confronts the Angry. Well matched, they retire for the night. Shenanigans ensue but that is another story.

  8. BlastedHeath May 11 2017 @ 22:14

    Speaking of running in place: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMLCrzy9TEs

  9. BlastedHeath May 11 2017 @ 22:31

    I consulted BrainyQuotes before writing my fold, and from a quick scan of the quotes by Roger and Francis Bacon, I don't think either of them was Shakespeare.

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