If I go to bed now,

If I go to bed now,

the crepuscular terrors from beyond would visit me and tear me limb from limb (long story). I decided to have another cup of joe instead. But just my luck, the coffee was

not on the shelf where it usually was. Instead it was in the bin. Margery must have thrown it away as it was out of date. I was so scared to go to bed. If I didn't have coffee to k

eep my bowel movements consistent, then I'd likely develop a plethora of digestive problems. I ran out the back door screaming the words, "Margery" and "coffee" in a frenzied daze

. I couldn't take any more of this stress. As I was contemplating this abysmal situation, I slipped on a footbridge and fell into the river outside my office. Just what I needed.

clamored for entrance into my lungs, but the involuntary thrashing of my arms and legs propelled me back to the surface in spite of myself. "I can't even drown right," I thought

to myself. "Oh yes, you drowned Mr. Capra. I just pulled you out right before the actual drowning to save you that pain and suffering", said Mr. Raines. "I'm not Capra, I'm Eileen

Brennan from “Private Benjamin.” Raines let go her head and let it thud on the floor. “So where’s Capra?” Raines puzzled. A car started outside. Raines got to the window in time to

see the ice cream truck hurtling down the street, an angry mob of children running after it. Capra was among them. Raines shook his head. "Weirdest case I've ever investigated."