Determined to find out if the legend was

Determined to find out if the legend was true I took a bus to Manitoba. I wanted to grasp the Rogue Wendy's 9 patty T-Rex burger in my own hands, unhinge my jaw & make like a snake

. I'd probably need a good molt after swallowing that jumbo, juicy meal. As we neared the Canadian border, I leaned back in my extra-wide seat and dreamed of the T-rex burger.

Once I arrived at the Canadian border, I was interviewed by a Canadian border patrol guard. Man, you'd think that these guys would be more careful, especially of me and my huge

nuclear missile. The Mountie tipped his hat. "And where did you get that?" "North Dakota, military surplus." I replied. "Any alcohol?" "No." "Okay, move along."

sniffed it. "Smells alright," the Mountie said. "It's Ol' Grandad's secret recipe moonshine," I whispered. "Go on, take a nip." The Mountie chugged it. Oh, Canada! He took off his

moustache and put it away in its leather case. The Mountie was fastidious that way. He took a pair of snifters out of his pack, set them on an oak stump, and poured more moonshine

into the glasses. "Next!" A timid lass approached. The Mountie said "What is Wayne Gretsky's favorite color?!" "Uhmm, yellow?" "NO! It's white! Now drink!" She gulped the moonshine

and proceeded to kick his ass. Turned out she was an MMA fighter who'd suffered memory loss after her run in with the Loch Ness monster. She only regained combat skills when drinki

ng a glass of smoky Glen Ord and eating neeps & tatties--to think like the enemy. She also took up caber tossing & that was what did for Nessie in the end. Some pine to the brain.