Everyone was watching. This was finally Bert's

Everyone was watching. This was finally Bert's chance. He ran down the runway toward Ernie, bounced on the trampoline and

landed on Ernie's shoulders with a profound thud.

It was caca. Giraffe caca. The Japanese tourists took photos of it sitting on Ernie's shoulder. So he

made like a muppet and said "hey Bert", "hey Bert". Want some chocolate pudding? Then he laughed like he was clearing his throat of a phlegmball. Bert had heard of 2 cups however

and immediately, violently, muppet-fuzz erupted from his eyeballs, which is the equivalent of Ralphing.

Ralph Upchuck was being killed before my very eyes, murdered to death by a lycanthropic muppet. "Die, Kermit!" I belched as I lunged towards him with my polearm in all three paws.

Ripping apart his furry muppet face in my rage, I realized that beneath his face was a hand, and beneath that hand was an arm. "Cut!" shouted the director. "Get that lunatic off

-" . He was cut off in mid-utterance by the sight of a gigantic hand looming over the stage, its index finger extended and pointed at him. Slowly the finger lowered until it

"Im It! Im it!!"I squealed...what now? "Now U go around the circle, &pick; some one else" sighed my 3rd grade teacher. DuckDuck Goose was always confusing & anticlimactic for me.