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Everyone was watching. This was finally Bert's

  • Everyone was watching. This was finally Bert's chance. He ran down the runway toward Ernie, bounced on the trampoline and

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  • landed on Ernie's shoulders with a profound thud.

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  • It was caca. Giraffe caca. The Japanese tourists took photos of it sitting on Ernie's shoulder. So he

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  • made like a muppet and said "hey Bert", "hey Bert". Want some chocolate pudding? Then he laughed like he was clearing his throat of a phlegmball. Bert had heard of 2 cups however

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  • and immediately, violently, muppet-fuzz erupted from his eyeballs, which is the equivalent of Ralphing.

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  • Ralph Upchuck was being killed before my very eyes, murdered to death by a lycanthropic muppet. "Die, Kermit!" I belched as I lunged towards him with my polearm in all three paws.

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  • Ripping apart his furry muppet face in my rage, I realized that beneath his face was a hand, and beneath that hand was an arm. "Cut!" shouted the director. "Get that lunatic off

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  • -" . He was cut off in mid-utterance by the sight of a gigantic hand looming over the stage, its index finger extended and pointed at him. Slowly the finger lowered until it

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  • touched his forehead. He thought, "Am I the chosen one?" The voice boomed across the stage. "TAG YOU'RE IT!" and with a fanfare of trumpets, the gigantic hand vanished.

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  • "Im It! Im it!!"I squealed...what now? "Now U go around the circle, &pick; some one else" sighed my 3rd grade teacher. DuckDuck Goose was always confusing & anticlimactic for me.

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