"Mom, no!" But she breezed right past the

"Mom, no!" But she breezed right past the "Do Not Enter" sign I'd gotten for my 15th birthday and hung on my bedroom door this morning. She barged in just as I was

sitting on my bed, trying out the '10 Other things You can do with your pisser'. I'd gotten that for my birthday too. My mom stood in front of me, perplexed, then burst out laughin

g at the yellow snow cone I was making. "That's not for me I hope," my mom said. I zippered up and handed it to her. My mom walked downstairs and gave it to my dad. "This is for

40 years of great foreplay, sexist jokes, horrible body odor, and hours of accumulated bathroom stench. I just remembered your predilection for lemonade in the wintertime. Be sure

To sprinkle some of it into my gaping hole when I bend over. I usually feel right as rain after performing such an act. This also acts as a natural enema and helps flush out the

remaining chilli powder and glue. Without an anaesthetic, this is something only my father has ever attempted before, and that had sadly led to his untimely divorce.

The divorce was untimely because because the judge overslept on the day it was to be final. The judge was a crude man with overtones of extreme narcissism. Whenever he held court

he insisted everyone address him with "Your Benevolence" & he wore a lice powdered wig . As the plaintiff described her husbands cheating, the stenographer heard a strange wooshing

Mary Magdalene, estatic that she had succeeded in scouring the city of perverted priests. Her interruption caused a mistrial and killed one juror, but lawyers sang kumbaya at last