"I'm gonna break something tonight, as I

"I'm gonna break something tonight, as I grab your fucked up world and slice through it with a chainsaw!" with a Bruce Lee kind of c'mon hand gesture

the old man outed his despair. "Calm down, Grampa, it's not that bad..." His first day in the

book club had a little to be desired, sure, like when his book spontaneously combusted, or when it exploded after he'd thrown it away quickly. Grandpa sobbed. All he'd wanted to do

was belong to a successful book club without one book exploding into oblivion. Grandpa sighed. Maybe it was time to give up. He was leaving a trail of tears behind him when

he was still a youngster, and now he was 83, spending all his time trying to run this all-encompassing book clu. Grandpa sighed again. The book club only had three members: Shelia

Shiela's brother Daryl and Sheila's other Brother Daryl. The book club currently was reading "The Help" with one serious condition, they had to

"experience" the book by actually eating the "chocolate" pie. The Daryls volunteered to make a few of the pies for the book club, following the recipe described in "The Help".

The ladies' book club greeted the Daryls' pies warmly. "Delicious crust!" "Tasty pie!" "So, where'dya git such big peecans, sweetie?" Daryll Hannah cringed at the latter remark.

She had found them in her back yard after the cat saw them. Olivia the Siamese asked what they were. So it was that they went into the pie! "Can you make more like this?", three

blind mice asked. One of them hungrily jabbed his thumb and pulled out a plum, but where was the chef going to find twenty more black birds on such short notice?