Someone told me. It's all happening at the

Someone told me. It's all happening at the zoo. some young chimp ate his poo. I do believe it. I do believe it's true. Mmmmm mmmmh woooahh mmmh..

Suddenly the drugs started to kick in. I'm not sure what that guy had given me to take but he had good taste in clothes so it seemed like a good idea. Speaking of which, where was

Huggy Chives? Oh, yeah, he was doing his last bit of Butlering for that old coot up at the White House. I am sure it was the drugs that done told me to start going simple, going

...just absoulely perfect. In a weird way being tripped out like this was more peaceful than any other drug I'd ever experience.. for a time. But then the pain started, and I ha

-ha-ha'd my way through it, as laughter is supposed to be the best medicine. (It isn't, by the way.) Still, I was glad to have avoided the opiates, since they stop me up like

Pineapples stopped me from eating tropical fruit for decades. Folding stories is good medicine too. I considet it the best medicine of all!

It soothes my all-encompassing depression that threatens to eat away at every positive aspect of my life. It burns the pain from my skull, straight through my burning eyes. Because

I'm suffering from Borderline Erectile-Dysfunction Apoplexy, and every time I see a bag of Cheetos, I go completely insane with rage and malice Aforethought...I cannot function

at snacktime. I just sit there, staring at whatever chips or pretzels are on my plate, my hand pale and flaccid. I am too young for this. Even Cheez-Whiz doesn't help. It's awful.