Once Upon a time there was a princess who

Once Upon a time there was a princess who lived in a tall castle

Her name was Sophia, all she did was moan, moan, moan about all the ways she was bored

, bored, bored, and wine, wine, wine about the way life was a grind, grind grind. Sophia would sigh, sigh, sigh, about how insufferable was life, life, life,

etc, etc, etc. I, for one was sick of it. I shoved a banana creme pie in Sophia's face to lighten the mood. For once Sophia was quiet. At the time,I didn't realize she was allergic

Twice, when she wasn't looking, I nibbled at bits of banana in Sophia's hair. I had to stop when I got some hair stuck in my teeth. I lied and told her that the wind had blown

out of some other guy's shorts and that stench must be a nearby dairy farm. Once again, I regretted not wearing my charcoal underwear. Sophia looked at me askance but didn't press

the issue. "Yes, that is a dairy farm," Sophie lied poorly but with the alligator tears no one argued. Charcoal undies were the next stop. We turned to leave but a the bigger fella

informed us that we had arrived just as he had run out of space in his heart. As such, he could never love us back until a space opened up but that he was ok with booty calls. We

met with a contractor to get us the best booty calls available, but they were very expensive. He swore he only wanted the best for us