Once Upon a time there was a princess who

Once Upon a time there was a princess who lived in a tall castle

Her name was Sophia, all she did was moan, moan, moan about all the ways she was bored

, bored, bored, and wine, wine, wine about the way life was a grind, grind grind. Sophia would sigh, sigh, sigh, about how insufferable was life, life, life,

etc, etc, etc. I, for one was sick of it. I shoved a banana creme pie in Sophia's face to lighten the mood. For once Sophia was quiet. At the time,I didn't realize she was allergic

to bananas and latex. I donned my rubber gloves and got to work. Sophia spent several hours rinsing the cream pie from her hair.

Twice, when she wasn't looking, I nibbled at bits of banana in Sophia's hair. I had to stop when I got some hair stuck in my teeth. I lied and told her that the wind had blown

out of some other guy's shorts and that stench must be a nearby dairy farm. Once again, I regretted not wearing my charcoal underwear. Sophia looked at me askance but didn't press

informed us that we had arrived just as he had run out of space in his heart. As such, he could never love us back until a space opened up but that he was ok with booty calls. We

met with a contractor to get us the best booty calls available, but they were very expensive. He swore he only wanted the best for us