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I was a latchkey kid. We moved a lot, too.

  • I was a latchkey kid. We moved a lot, too. I never got a handle on settling down to a future that would inevitably change. One day on the way home, two roads. I took the shortcut.
  • Or so I thought. After some time I doubted my choice. It was not much trodden this 'shortcut'. My hurry & unfamiliarity made me unsure of the way back. I saw a blockmother house
  • and knocked. An unnervingly large toddler holding a Pabst wearing only a diaper and bib opened the door."Is your mother here?I'm lost." I said.Was he the source of the foul odor or
  • was I? Neither of us was clean, that was painfully obvious. He said "Nope. Want one?" and held up his beer. I did want one, but this was a little odd. I said OK, and he toddled off
  • into the kitchen.Standing by the fridge,one finger on the handle,he gazed into my eyes and asked the stupidest question ever:"After the beer,after the shower,after the sex...what
  • -aburger or maybe Carl's Junior?" The question was stupid because I was sloppy and hungry. God love idiots. I chugged the rest of the chocolate syrup and
  • then blew my breath into my cupped hand to see if I had bad breath & found that yes, I did. My breath smelled of onions, chocolate & tilapia. I was now prepared to execute my plan.
  • If only I had kept a backup copy of my plan. My computer hard drive died. I had lost the only copy of the construction plans for the Sydney Opera House. I could only hope the build
  • ing team had excellent memories, or that somehow the project would have to go back to square three, allowing a completely new Opera to be written, necessitating of course a complet
  • e new libretto. So we cobbled together some Folding Stories - whacked them through Googletranslate into Italian and voila! 'il matrimonio di detective lamantino' premiers tonight.

7 Comments

  1. PurpleProf May 04 2013 @ 18:47

    My favorite: "...and unnervingly large toddler holding a Pabst wearing only a diaper and a bib..." As this story was folding, I cannot tell you how many times that image popped into my head. M80!!!

  2. lucielucie May 05 2013 @ 07:56

    It's 'The Marriage of Detective Manatee' via google translate.

  3. SlimWhitman May 05 2013 @ 17:51

    Same here PurpleProf. Everytime I read the line the image burns into my retinae. Déjà vu from somewhere?

  4. PurpleProf May 05 2013 @ 18:26

    SW...yes, actually: http://foldingstory.com/sfzy4/

  5. m80 May 14 2013 @ 22:39

    Thank you, Purple Prof and Slim.

  6. SlimWhitman May 15 2013 @ 20:06

    The building of the Sydney Opera house is a fascinating story. It became an icon for Australia but the architect never saw it completed and it almost wasn't. If you're ever there and interested in such things - take the tour, it's worth it.

  7. mensaque May 19 2013 @ 13:59

    I would love to go...but maybe we could turn "Les Noces of Manatee" into a ballet!I'm not much of an opera fan!

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