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His loft was filled with "designer items":

  • His loft was filled with "designer items": standing lamps that looked like street lights, a scratching post like a hydrant, recliners looking like economy airline seats. The worst
  • was the "modern style" bucket ornaments, which anybody else would have thought were bins, but he could see past that and thought they were beautiful tributes to when people used
  • to actually shop at malls. Aaaah this was the Glorious Restoration Hardware. No company knew how jiggle the male impulse-buy knobs like them. IED-lighted leatherman knock-off
  • penguin bowling pins rocking pneumatically with sonorous gesticulations of light and matter particles intertwined with buxom new bionic reumhatic neuroid pathological paranoid when
  • my dictionary exploded. Words dribbled all over the floor. That is the last time I'll use scrabble as inspiration for my poetry. The longer ones hid under the couch. I took a broom
  • and "quixotically" swept "qabalahs" into the dustbin. I peered beneath the futon, where I found Lex (from Bookworm) withering beside a Boggle board. "Too many consonants," he said
  • , then added "Can you point me to the nearest bathroom? I think I need a vowel movement." Lex the Bookworm had apparently OD'd on the joke book. He would be forever lost to us.
  • Rushing into the stall with utmost urgency, I then sat there, constipated. My vowel movement was sluggish. A...plop...E...plop...I...plop, plop... I grunted. O and U came out
  • Y because X is a crooked letter and Z is no better. Can I have a P please?
  • "Vanna, is there is a P? YES!" The puzzle was left thus: _ / _ R_ _ P / _ _ /_ _ LL-_ _ SH _ RS. John paused. "Um, a group of pill-pushers?" "What? This is wheel of fortune, John!"
Started
2011-03-22 17:37:23
Finished
2012-12-02 15:49:09

13 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Zetawilk Dec 02 2012 @ 16:11

    Vanna forgot the other Ps.
  2. Avatar

    sundancer Dec 02 2012 @ 16:46

    That last line is an incident that actually happened in real life! The correct answer to the puzzle was "A Group of Well-Wishers."
  3. Avatar

    sundancer Dec 02 2012 @ 16:47

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzk4wLgnYao
  4. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Dec 02 2012 @ 16:54

    I GRUMP MY WELL-WISHERS?
  5. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Dec 02 2012 @ 16:56

    Didn't see your replies. Thanx for the explanation.
  6. Avatar

    PurpleProf Dec 02 2012 @ 16:56

    Very clever, Sundancer!
  7. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Dec 02 2012 @ 17:06

    Just had another laugh when I realized why 'i' is two plops.
  8. Avatar

    PurpleProf Dec 02 2012 @ 17:07

    ;)
  9. Avatar

    KieferSkunk Dec 03 2012 @ 12:51

    Whatever happened between folds 3 and 5 had me rolling. :)
  10. Avatar

    KieferSkunk Dec 03 2012 @ 12:54

    Also, my favorite game show moment has to be "September": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNoV_kSe7Dk
  11. Avatar

    buddyboy4711 Dec 03 2012 @ 14:33

    This one's pretty legendary too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqk1-q8gXcY
  12. Avatar

    sundancer Dec 04 2012 @ 04:29

    Ahahaha! Buddy boy, my mind is blown! That poor girl under so much stress and pressure totally lucked out in the end.
  13. Avatar

    sundancer Dec 04 2012 @ 04:31

    Oh thanks PurpleProf, yours' was clever too (with number two) for the reason Slim pointed out. :-)

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