He was a 6' 4" 250 lb albino with pigtails.

He was a 6' 4" 250 lb albino with pigtails. He usually sported snazzy Tshirts with punch lines like 'Keep staring, I might do a trick' and a nice Irish kilt. I met him for drinks

at the lesbian bar. When I asked him why he hung out (so to speak) in a lesbian bar. he said "I heard it was a muff divers heaven but it must be a secret because I never see any

divers. All I've seen around here are buttloads of muff. He said, "That's because this is Megamuff. The divers are there, you just can't see them." So I looked

Gesturing with my hands I tried to ask the dive team whether the submarine was loaded with contraceptive torpedos. Meanwhile he tadpole-like swarm headed for the giant sphere

known as "Earth". The amphibious moon bunnies cursed the space-tadpoles which dove into Earth's atmosphere. Many of them burned up, but some plummeted into the oceans, impregnating

the planet. Whenever a volcano erupts it is the birth of a cosmic toad, the next stage in sapient evolution, and the pinnacle

of daytime talk shows. But if evolution didn't exist, then cosmic toads aren't really the pinnacle of anything.

But then i had to stop all these random thoughts as my boyfriend grunted and ejaculated into me, just as i spasmed into a gigantic orgasm of my own. And now all that was left was

his dead weight on top of me. He'd said he'd "die to be with me" and now he was...dead, that is. I grinned and slithered back into the dark of the French Quarter, waiting.