After finishing my fold, I found I had written

  • After finishing my fold, I found I had written more words than the gospel, William Shakespeare's sonnets, and The Firm, combined. I then decided to self-publish my work, entitled

  • "To fold or not to fold: Ramblings of a madman", It was an overnight bestseller in my town, it sold over 50 copies, and was later translated to

  • brail by the Hellen Keller/Double Day Books Syndicate. "To Fold or not to fold: Ramblings of a madman" sold millions of copies. That was of course until the class action lawsuit

  • filed by the uncompensated authors brought the Book Syndicate and the FS site to their knees with an unsanctionable injunction and accompanying gag order. Atty-at-law Bob Loblaw

  • represented FS, wisely chosen by FS founder Noah, because Bob Loblaw's motto was: “why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed?” To help Noah pay Loblaw, FS writers

  • pitched their folded stories to Hollywood. David Lynch became really excited. "These make more sense than my own work." A miniseries was ordered. Winona Ryder signed on as

  • Sara Hyperbola from Folding story b0er7. Ryder imagined Sara torn by her cardboard virtuality.Lynch wanted Depp to play Flat Stanley with a Freddy Kruger Scissorhands edge,but when

  • Depp made a beeline for Sara's assymptote, she yelled, "Cut! Flat Stanley would've respected my limits." Lynch stepped in. "Sara, that's brilliant - Johnny, cut her again. Action!"

  • But Johnny Depp didn't know what David Lynch /wanted/. So he treated Sara Jessica Parker like a hotel room from his youth, back before the pronatalism dulled him to boring. Slice.

  • Chop. Chop. Johnny Depp wiped his eyes across his sleeve, glad he could use the excuse of dicing the onion to hide his tears. The choice was obvious: Bleu Cheese.



  1. SlimWhitman Jan 21 2013 @ 06:11

    Good material. I think we can pay Mr. Loblaw's fees.

  2. Zetawilk Jan 30 2013 @ 01:10

    Put in my contract that I get to eat all the bananas I want. I might want at least three, five if filming runs over schedule.

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