Cramer slumped in the corner at the holiday

Cramer slumped in the corner at the holiday party.He was shy, awkward, didn't know how to talk to women. He was also quite homely. But when he stood, unaware, beneath the mistletoe

the naked hairy fat lady licked his ear lovingly. Cramer had never experienced such intense love. The holiday party was playing Silent Night so loud that he couldn't hear her name

so he just nodded and smiled, and then called her "baby" for the rest of the night. Her groping became more bold and before Cramer knew it he found himself engaged

and married in one fell swoop in Vegas. Cramer ordered them the Marriage platter (hold the prenup) with a side of corn-off-the-cob at Pastor Pete's Drive-In. He and "baby" resumed

being stupid. Cramer and she were just being idiotic, but now they were just being stupid. Someday they might get the level of lame, but

Uncle Johann commented, "That tells you what they learned at school, but the Transylvanian schools are far better." I agreed. The ubiquitous smartphone is addictive and thats all

it was. Nothing nefarious was going on. I hoped. Uncle Johann was holding something back though, I just knew it. How much better could Transylvanian schools really be? Which cellph

one plan would give me the most data? Did they even have phones in Transylvania? I began to panic. "Damn Uncle Johann and his pointy teeth," I bemoaned. "I hate the dark."

I tapped the Sunrise App on my phone and used it as a flashlight. For a moment I thought I saw my Uncle Johann, but a moment later there was only a pile of dust. I moved to Rio.