He put the maglight between his teeth and

He put the maglight between his teeth and looked deeper into the storage locker. He had the winning bid at the auction but wondered about the previous owner, Dr. Acula.

One side of Dr. Acula’s storage locker had stuff piled under a tarp.The other was bare, but I could see a faint outline of something in the dust. The guy who worked graveyard shift

had been drinking on the job and napping in once of the corpse drawers. Dr. Acula was strange to say the least. He never talked about his wife or family. No vacations to speak

of an his cologne was embalming fluid. But Dr. Acula had an affinity with the deceased. But when he decided to marry the dearly departed Mrs. Witherspoon

, a lovely (albeit rather quiet) woman, he thought he himself had died and gone to heaven. Dr. Acula had quite a honeymoon planned for himself & his new dead wife. They were going

back Transylvania to meet the undead folks. New Mrs Acula met mum, Princess Cneajna & dad, Vlad II. But when she clapped eyes on bro, Radu the Handsome, Dr Acula felt uneasy. She

liked the smell of him, was drawn to him in an odd way. Dr Acula realized what it was just as Radu pulled out a large wooden stake. "Imposter!" she screamed. "He's alive!" Radu

leapt for the larder. What to add as a garnish for a wooden stake? Dr Acula was no longer stunned by the threat, but still stood there with a "Are you kidding me?" expression on

his fanged face. I searched for powdered garlic in the larder, and finding a jar, I stabbed the stake inside to coat it. Dr. Acula stepped back, scorn melting into giddy terror.

"I have fangs and ancient wit; you have a stake, powdered garlic, and the internet -- so we are both killers -- but let me die with dignity." He had a point, but he was gone.