I was walking down the street one day when

I was walking down the street one day when I saw a cat. The cat was talking to other cats. They all had jetpacks on. I asked if I could have one and their answer was

NOOO! your a human and these are for cats only! So i then walked away dismayed and broken. My dream of ever riding a jetpack with cats is gone. I went and cried for

my human form was not as amazing as my dog form, so I transformed again into a majestic dog with a jetpack and lazer guns equipped to my ears being awesome all the time, when I

but when I got there my jetpack wouldn't start up. The fuel gauge said full. The Igniter System was working. Then I remembered, crap. I put diesel in the tank instead of

frying grease. I forgot that I'd adjusted the preheating cycle. I went to the nearest McDonald's wearing the jetpack & Hamburglar outfit & ordered 10 litres of frying grease.

The cashier objected immediately, saying that the manager wouldn't like the sale of frying grease. I grumbled softly before bribing him not to tell. The cashier accepted the cash &

we managed without the manager as usual. "Frying grease on sale!" I hollered. "Frying grease for sale!" I bellowed. I would earn my Christmas bonus by hook or by crook if need be.

My subscription in the Jelly-of-the-month Club was at stake. I shuddered, thinking back to '06 when I endured an entire year without any persimmon preserves or avocado marmalade.

That was it. No more jelly. I went through withdrawal, shaking, sweating, convulsions, and delusions. It was awful. Then one day, I woke up normal, jelly-free and ready to jam.