Hesitating, ashamed, frightened even - Tracy

Hesitating, ashamed, frightened even - Tracy took a deep breath and entered her question into the terminal. "Will my addiction to avocadoes", she typed, "make me fat?". AVOCADOS, b

oasting natural fats, are nutritious," Tracy read. "However eating too many is unhealthy. If you're suffering from an addiction, please call Avocado Eaters Anonymous today."

She looked at the numerous avocado pits which were scattered all over the carpet. "Do I have a problem?" Tracy asked herself. She keyed the number into her phone, but decided to

hang up when the gravelly voice said "Avocados Anonymous?" The phone rang: "You don't need to talk. I've located you and we'll be over with a van. Pack a small bag. NO GUACAMOLE!"

He'd sliced open an overripe avocado & was just scooping out its buttery ripe flesh when 2 suited figures burst through the door & grappled him to the ground. "We're doing this for

someone worthy ..." When he came to again, he was chained to a hospital bed in a tatty motel room. A gray man in a grayer suit thanked him for the transfusion. "Your young blood is

have blood." The vampires looked at him. "I've been bloodless for about three years. I was at a blood drive and the nurse fell asleep. Drained all my blood."

The vampires were skeptical. Was this some ploy or trick of some kind? "Execute the prick test, Vlad," one said. Vlad took at stab at the man's arm. Sure enough, no blood. Suddenly

the man hopped in his Hummer and parked it taking up two handicapped spaces. While on his phone, he threw his lit cigar in the bushes. "Yep," Vlad said "another test positive."