I know I'm just a robot, a metal man. But

I know I'm just a robot, a metal man. But I love you. I love you more than your parents ever will. Could you please

escape your miserable little life and come join me in a voyage across the seas, and I'll promise to make you a real woman. Hope you don't mind being seen dating a robot, but

comfortable shoes just as soon as you let me administer this warmed, fragrant oil to your mons venus because now is the magic time where no judgments

of "guilty" are being found against our relationship. And by "magic time", I mean I handsomely bribed every justice within five hundred miles. Then, sweetie, allow me to touch your

gavel the way we used to. Oh, baby, that's the way justice is in the big city. You can't just throw a handful of pork rinds at the problem and expect me to skedaddle, do you, honey

No, you need the entire PIG. And that's exactly what we did - we went down to Mr. O'Malley's Farmhouse and rounded up his swine, throwing them at buildings like meat footballs. The

Mattel board meeting went silent. "That's your pitch? Peg-A-Pig?" They hated it, and Tom knew what this meant. To the Molasses Swamp with him. "BUT THAT'S HASBRO!" He said, sinking

"We must concur Hasbro!" Said the president of Mattel.

Sadly, they were both crushed by Japanese toy manufacturer Bandai, after it released Belching Coin Munching Face Bank and Road Kill Cat.