If recent history is a decent indicator,

If recent history is a decent indicator, my day will probably go something like this: Wake up to kids fighting. Yell at them until they eat their cereal. Drive older boy to school,

return home. Take my daughter to dance classes. In that hour before lunch, make a ritual sacrifice to Woton. Pick up the kids. Wait for my wife to come home from work. Every day.

His life was a cycle. His wife was a frickin' pain & as much as he loved his daughter, all he really wanted to do after work each day was slump in his chair & listen to Wagner.

Such was the torment that was David Hasselhoff's life. Listening to Wagner he chiseled away at a hunk of rocky road while thinking about Wagner Puns like Valhalla at your girl!

The Hoff's other Wagner jokes were: Is that Alberich down your trousers or are you just pleased to see me? and My washing machine's got a ring cycle, that's why it's a Nazi. How we

ever learned to measure shadows is a story for another time. Right now, what I want to know is who cut your heir? Yes, I heard he was in the ICU and not expected to survive. What

will you do for survivors if he doesn't survive and inherit all your dollops after you don't survive something? Yes, this was the existential itch that wriggled in my lizard mind

As I struggled to wake up. The invisible hand put mocha capuccino on the table and I polished off the whole thingin 12:54. My mum used a time clock found in the junk drawer to see

kea! I missed it! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![Goes on for infinity]"