Three once lived a gnome. He was short anf

Three once lived a gnome. He was short anf fat. One day he...

decided that he was sick of puttering around the garden in his red pointy hat. He put down his ceramic wheelbarrow and marched past the hollyhocks to the King's Cross Station.

A lorry full of blackbirds driven by a dung beetle sitting on a milk crate pulled up. The gnome requested a ride hither and yon, as he had a ~1,000 things to see before he died.

Agnosius was a skeptical slightly weathered plastic gnome. He climbed into the milk crate. The blackbirds flapped their wings & soon they were high over Roydon. First stop Big Ben.

was seen being seen by Aggy the gnome. "Want to burn a barn down with me," asked Aggy. Big Ben the elf friend replied, "No, it seems unfriendly, lets build a star ship instead!"

So Aggy the Gnome and Big Ben the Elf Friend shot a rocket hook up to the Enterprise. They climbed up the cable to the starship singing songs about middle earth.

Sadly they asphyxiated somewhere around the 60 mile mark, their adorable corpses trailing the starship as it broke orbit from Middle Earth. It was Spock who, several months later,

just happened to look out of the window. "Aauurgh" Spock gasped, clutching both hands to his 2 racing hearts. The desiccated corpses were still attached to the starship, covered

in recycled pretzel salt. Spock couldn't have salt. It was far too salty for his Vulcan tastebuds. Spock slid to the floor of the gaseous quarantine, begging for a glass of water.