A long long long long long time ago, back

A long long long long long time ago, back in the ancient times, there was a dog named Raphiel. Raphiel was shorter than other dogs, but on one particular day, something happened.

he died

a miserable death

was too good for him. What I wanted him to do was go on a reality show where he was sent to the Alaskan wilderness to learn survival and tango dancing. I wanted suffering.

Unfortunately he loved suffering, so watching him suffer was not pleasurable to me because it was pleasurable to him. How can I make him suffer I wondered.

Torturing masochists isn't a matter of reverse psychology. I couldn't just poke him with soft cushions in a comfy chair. And being extreme is a guessing game. I'm much more method-

Methadone.. The heroine substitute. Look I'm a smackhead who read a psychology book once. I like to sound informed but most of what I say is pseudo-intellectual waffle. I suck

ed the tail and ate the head, sitting there at the Mardi Gras party,waxing eloquent, while a small crowd gathered to listen to what else I had to say. Maybe I should run for office

My charm worked so well that people built a giant statue towering over Rio De Janeiro. Bow to me for I am your messiah. Suckers!