At last I am truly satisfied. I have achieved

At last I am truly satisfied. I have achieved cheesefulness. I am one with the cheese. I live cheese. I am cheese. These were the famous words spoken by the great

Zen Munster himself. His book "The Path to True Cheese Headiness" is a best seller in Wisconsin. Raised a humble dairy farmer, he found his true calling by observing cows ruminate.

and that's where he first heard about the Gouda. The Gouda was a dairy farmer who left his wealthy farm to learn about the spiritual truth in cheese. First he lived with ascetics

in a small Indian valley, where the holy cows' milk induced trances when drunk. In these visions, the Gouda realized his Destiny was in spiritual cheese. Armed with this knowledge,

he opened his own little shop on the banks of the Ganges River. "Come, taste," implored Gouda to passersby. "It's a celebration of cheeses! One bite & you will be able to predict

your next pregnancy." Too bad the patrons couldn't predict their next bowel movement. Gouda's Ganges Cheeseria blocked people up, but it was too good to pass up, you see. Predictin

G whether pineapple consumption helped, the jyotish man said, "You have 7 1/2 years of Saturn coming in 5 years, so do it now. Shani is a tough judge of karma, so be prepared to go

deep into space to achieve this. Otherwise, karma will come back to bite you and you'll have no idea what happened.

miniscule momentous magnitude of Marvin Gardens writ large across some alien skies and always only sometimes. It was once again the accidental warlike event you were promised.