The rat-a-tat-tat...rat-a-tat-tat...rat-a-tat-tat...

The rat-a-tat-tat...rat-a-tat-tat...rat-a-tat-tat... had been bothering her all night. Why wouldn't they leave her be? The stench from her bedroom is reason enough to kill a man.

Ok bedroom was a fib, it was a manger. And it stunk to high heaven. The piles of sheep dung had not woke the baby, but the three guys and the cheapskate drummer boy would surely

Tom Selleck. Someone knew him through a friend and thought it would be hilarious if he showed up to see three actual men and a baby. Selleck had other ideas. His submachine gun

was hidden in his mustache. He brandished his weapon ironically as if he were Steve Guttenberg in a Police Academy movie. Selleck would outdo Danson by

being a far better kisser,even with the mustache!In the feud Selleck X Danson,Ted did not stand a chance,but Guttenberg came to his rescue:he called The Nanny so that the baby

would not have to see the gruesome duel that was about to take place. Ted whipped up a will (naming Guttenberg godfather, in case he died) loaded his pistol, and walked 40 paces.

Turned, aimed square at his opponent and pulled the trigger. Out popped a banner and unfurled. "TNT" it said. Ted cursed choosing Bozo as his second and

practicle jokes as a choice of weapons. Dropping the Bang-Bang gun, Ted pulled an obscenely large mallet from his dueling vest. His opponent defended with an ACME anvil. "Zoinks!"

But little to Ted's knowledge, Unicorn Delta's flight path was directly over the battlefield! His opponent furiously lept at him and slit his jugular with the legendary Masamune.