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The rat-a-tat-tat...rat-a-tat-tat...rat-a-tat-tat...

  • The rat-a-tat-tat...rat-a-tat-tat...rat-a-tat-tat... had been bothering her all night. Why wouldn't they leave her be? The stench from her bedroom is reason enough to kill a man.

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  • Ok bedroom was a fib, it was a manger. And it stunk to high heaven. The piles of sheep dung had not woke the baby, but the three guys and the cheapskate drummer boy would surely

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  • make him stir. It wasn't as if the three guys had brought presents hat a baby could use. Had they never heard of finger puppets? Guess who turned up next? It was

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  • Tom Selleck. Someone knew him through a friend and thought it would be hilarious if he showed up to see three actual men and a baby. Selleck had other ideas. His submachine gun

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  • was hidden in his mustache. He brandished his weapon ironically as if he were Steve Guttenberg in a Police Academy movie. Selleck would outdo Danson by

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  • being a far better kisser,even with the mustache!In the feud Selleck X Danson,Ted did not stand a chance,but Guttenberg came to his rescue:he called The Nanny so that the baby

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  • would not have to see the gruesome duel that was about to take place. Ted whipped up a will (naming Guttenberg godfather, in case he died) loaded his pistol, and walked 40 paces.

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  • Turned, aimed square at his opponent and pulled the trigger. Out popped a banner and unfurled. "TNT" it said. Ted cursed choosing Bozo as his second and

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  • practicle jokes as a choice of weapons. Dropping the Bang-Bang gun, Ted pulled an obscenely large mallet from his dueling vest. His opponent defended with an ACME anvil. "Zoinks!"

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  • But little to Ted's knowledge, Unicorn Delta's flight path was directly over the battlefield! His opponent furiously lept at him and slit his jugular with the legendary Masamune.

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