"Ohhhhhhhhhh ... isn't this the end of a

"Ohhhhhhhhhh ... isn't this the end of a long, long story," I thought to myself. I sat down in the scrub, threw off my boots and rubbed my sore, blistered feet. "Ohhh ...

"Jesus." my cousin said "Are you taking your boots off or climaxing over there?" "Besides, put 'em back on. We're just 2 miles into the first 8 miles of our trip. We need to get to

whistled. He hailed a cab. "Taking this cab is cheating." My cousin said, "Oh, Girl." We hopped in the cab and said, "Take us to the finish line of Rupaul's Drag Race!" The

cab driver leered at us, but dropped us off about 50 yards away from the finish line, behind a bush so that we could sneak into RuPaul's Drag Race. I stopped to adjust my Spanx,

and loosen the lace of my corset. By now it was beginning to stop the oxygen supply, But there was no time for this. The engines were revving, cars lurching forward slightly, while

I was struggling with the ribbons. We were off! At the first corner I felt woozy, at the chicane I passed out, crashing into the tyres at 200 miles per hour. Ironically the corset

saved my life because it was made of iron. Sure the rest of my body burnt to a crisp in the fiery crash, but my telltale heart was still beating, so technically I was still alive.

Later on, a strange-looking priest came - took my heart and placed it into a humanoid robot. But since my brain was already lost, the robot only inherited my feelings, not also my

brilliant intellect. The now maudlin and overly sensitive android wiped a tear from its eye and thanked the priest sincerely. It was then put to work clearing sewer blockages.