We were climbing up a steep rampart of the

We were climbing up a steep rampart of the ancient fort at Meon Hill when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned & a black dog was stood staring at me with strange

films projected on three screens behind him. Eraserhead. Daisies. E.T. Well, E.T. wasn't as strange as it was cloying. The dog began to bark backwards. The fort at Meon Hill slowly

sank into the hillside & the sky turned blood red. Only then did he notice that a large crowd had gathered. They wore 3-D glasses & expectant grins. He took the microphone &

He cried. This isn't a show and isn't funny either! He lowered his head with a sense of defeat and said: "I Can't be part of this freaking show anymore! Let me get out of here,

he began to walk, his face bright red to the exit, but something stopped him. He couldn't just walk away and let the show's faults ruin his ability to rise above and conquer

so rise & conquer he did. Vini vidi Vichyssoise! A little leak, a little onion, a little potato, chicken stock & cold fresh cream. The studio audience was captivated when he added

kale from his own local miniature organic power greens farm. He also sprinkled artisanal shade-grown free trade pink salt on the dish. He was sure he would get a TED talk gig.

But something nagged at him. Was it the lack of glasses? Perhaps the stilted delivery of a person masquerading middling thought for deep revelation? Surely, the TED people would

ask him to leave the stage. Jay sat anxiously, waiting for him to be done. Suddenly, Manny Delgado ran onstage screaming, "I can't TAKE IT! No one is educated here! Just STOP!"