I wrestled a bear once. It wasn't what you

I wrestled a bear once. It wasn't what you think, a bloody tooth-and-claw academy award winning battle for suvival. Oh, no. Let me explain... I was going camping with my

cousin when out of a rasberry bush cluster comes this ginormous bear. I swear when it reared up on it's hind legs it was about 10 feet tall. I peed myself which later on helped me

"Auntie Em, I have something to tell you!" "Yes, yes, Dorothy, I know," Auntie Em said, "The screen door hit your head." "No!" Dorothy tried to tell her that a bear ate her son,

but Aunt Em held up her hand: "Me first, Dorothy. I've just bought the most delightful bear rug. I'll cherish it as long as I live!" Shit. Gotta make up some other death for cuz.

Aunt Em and Dorothy died of ... of? Oh oh I got it canker sores. They started in the mouth after too many suckers with the lollipop guild and spread all over there body. Too bad th

-e land of Oz there are no doctors. Only witches and wizards, and that's not the same thing. So Dorothy and Aunt Em had no-where to go when their canker sores became fatal.

But thats impossible, you may say, "Canker sores heal by themselves." Which is mostly true, however Dorothy and Aunt-Em had had a special dosage of "Fatal Canker Sore" potion, made

Arsenic and old lace the preferred treatment per Doctor Oz. Oprah had successfully used it when TPM climbed her leopard sofa onstage and clawed through the upholstery. Dorothy

pouted, still pining over Scarecrow. Oprah couldn't get a word out of her. The live broadcast: "Dr Oz Reunites Oz" was a disaster. This was definitely not a favorite thing.