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We didn't think that replacing the shutters

  • We didn't think that replacing the shutters on our house would open a portal to the nether realm.

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  • But they don't call them venetian blinds for nothing. We got them used at an estate sale from Cagliastro's mansion. The evening of a full moon I opened them & a cast of carnival

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  • food items magically hovered in the air. Corn dog. Funnel cake. Corn on the Cob. Deep fried twinkie. They glowed and vibrated. I reached out to the corn dog and

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  • it whisked away, just out of my reach. I chased the glowing corn dog through the twisting, darkened streets of Carnyville. The corn dog taunted me & I heard laughter echoing

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  • from within lantern-lit tents. I followed the elusive corn dog's warm, slightly sweet scent, like cornbread pulled fresh from the oven. My mouth watered on my trek thru Carnyville

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  • and into the badlands of Wyoming. Cheney was out there, in the wilderness, with his renegade corndog stand a sawed-off shotgun for any and all comers unwilling to commit to the

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  • spicy mustard. Naturally, Cheney's corndog stand was a front for the mafia of the west. He denied it to the media day after day. Anderson Cooper wouldn't let up, he was

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  • feeling jiggy. Boy oh boy the hotdogs good today! No one, not even those mafia dudes will be able to resist. But he still resented the media, and denied them hotdogs. Oh Cheney.

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  • But the mafia dudes were angry that they could not have any hot dogs. They began to chase me, screaming obscenities and waving around weapons. I ran as fast as I could, until

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  • I found your ice cream truck. And that, sir, is the truth's honest truth about why I am hiding inside of your ice box. Now let us move from town to town, solving crimes.

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