I know from first-hand experience that certain

I know from first-hand experience that certain parts of that city smell of cat urine and

dead dreams. Stillborn dreams might be a better descriptor. If you were raised in this part of town, your hopes didn't ever have a chance to flourish at all. It was my home.

Toon town. I was mayor, sheriff and pharmacist. I've been living in toon town for years, under cover, at night. During the day I pretend to sell overpriced footlongs to

those who refuse to read my licensing agreement before signing it. Later, I point out that they were only renting the hot dog and now I had the right to reclaim it, by any means

biologically possible. As for the biologically impossible, Pamela Anderson

topped the list. From her bleached blond hair to her over-inflated breasts to her french manicured toes, Pam was an affront to nature. But in a bikini

was so vast, it's immensity resembled a boundless, waste region of chaos. Everything about her was artificial. I could only ponder upon the horrifying implications as I

contemplated her saccharine smile of capped teeth. Her purple contacts made me skeevy, and her blond hair extensions transsformed her from my daughter into a would be stripper. Oh!

It is very tempting. I thank to Lord that she would be a stripper. That way I could satisfy my lust of sex with her. I could fuck her everyday. Well, she wasn't my real daughter!