Having just been released from Guantanamo
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Having just been released from Guantanamo without charges, Usama was just trying to start over by driving a cab in New York City. Who would have thought that his first customer was
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so smart. In fact, this guy answered every question to his destination! Osama was shocked, this was his favorite episode of "Cash Cab". He reached for his AK to celebrate, but
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accidentally grabbed a tube of KY jelly next to the AK-47 and squirt a stream of jelly into the air with a powerful grip. Obama sat next to Osama, being next in alphabetical order,
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that's how I arrange my pristine taxodermied cadavers, I name them after people I think they'd most want to French kiss. Here is Obama, Osama and Orlando Jones. The staple
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of my collection, of course, is John Stamos. I keep him in on the sofa in my lounge. Sometimes we watch CSI together, and he'll topple over on me and for a second I feel like
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he's the only one who truly understands me. As he lies there, no more then a limp peice of celery, I realize that he, and only he alone can begin to grasp all my needs and wants.
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A cool rest in the refrigerator alivens my soul and starchy body. How to get us both back onto the shelf. My limpless form was no use. I see the salvation arriving but no way to
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feel it -- to experience the exquisite texture of freedom. I tire of my tortured existence -- and pray for the end to come swiftly.
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I hold the obsidian knife over my head and observe how it glints in the midday sun. The years of waiting are nearly at an end. I will have my revenge.
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I thrust it deep into last of the bratwurst. "See if he can make a sandwich now!" I chortled. All that was left was disappointing heals of stale pumpernickel.
5
- Started
- 2011-04-07 18:25:53
- Finished
- 2011-04-22 23:20:40
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