I had no way of knowing that my strange fascination

I had no way of knowing that my strange fascination with the girl next door would ultimately leave me with a single-room apartment and $500 in alimony fees. The worst part was that

the girl next door turned out to be a guy! Well, eventually, at least. One of those operations. Almost as bad, my ex-wife kept the cats, Moonshine and Tobasco. Now I'm all alone in

the world. Finally. Completely alone & happier than I could ever imagine. I moved to Basin, Montana (pop. 211) & got me one of those tiny houses, only bis enough for one. Then I

found even that was too bis for my taste & talked a snail out of its shell & crept all the way into the innermost spiral.I settled in. My bliss seemed to reach perfection

just as the tranquilizer wore off. Always the way. The "snail" I had persuaded from it "shell" dimly registered as a "dog" leaving its "drainage ditch." My parole officer's voice

came from the telephone pole wearing the funny hat. "Do you know about Mysterious Man?" he asked. "I think he's still flying around in his hula hoop copter somewhere," I thinly

recalled him, yes, the man with a suit with his hula hoop copter, "Yes, I recall," replied I, "That's good. He'll meet you outside." CLICK! He hung up, then I heard the hula hoop

recalled him, yes, the man with a suit with his hula hoop copter, "Yes, I recall," replied I, "That's good. He'll meet you outside." CLICK! He hung up, then I heard the hula hoop

copter flying down, walking outside he left to meet the man with the hula hoop copter. Before long the incredibly loud hula hoop copter touch down on his lawn, "join me," said

the man. I hesitated for a while before i agreed. Together we rode into the sunset. Until we hit a tree and the hula hoop copter crashed. Farewell hula hoop copter, farewell.