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He found this pervert in a chatroom by posing

  • He found this pervert in a chatroom by posing as a 12 year old boy. The guy didn't know he was a cop. But on his way to make the arrest, he looked in the mirror, "Holy shit I am

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  • turning purple!" A quick detour to the emergency room and a blood test later, he was diagnosed with

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  • extreme fabulousity. He was told the only cure was hosting his own make-over show on Bravo. Two seasons on that channel could take the shine off Bristol Palin's blank gaze. So he

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  • pulled out his 151 and extra strength crack and began designing the sets. First, a woman would be brought into a chamber where she'd be beaten with her own purses in old lingerie

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  • while pantomiming a tired Marcel Marceau routine. Having used all francophonic words available in his vocabulary, Guido then

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  • switched to a Pepe Le Pew imitation, which would pass for French there in Alabama. Scanning the audience, he spotted a woman in a black sweater with two vertical stripes, and

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  • became rather amorous. He invited her on stage and began to fawn over her - when he said "O Mon chéri you are my corned beef" and began to kiss up her arm thus "x x x x"

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  • in one smooth move she kicked off her Jimmy Choo’s over her head, caught one on the upswing and smacked it platform first in the middle of his forehead. The audience went wild and

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  • half of them passed out on the spot. The ensuing riot of friends and family members running to find help was the saddest sight she had ever seen. Those Jimmy Choos would never look

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  • would never look like patent leather again. Yes, fainting over shoes and starting a riot over them would be petty. But they weren’t just any pair of shoes; they were JIMMY CHOOS.

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