Iris wheeled around and punched Ronny in

Iris wheeled around and punched Ronny in his buck teeth, causing him to spin backward as his two bottle openers popped free in a splash of blood that also opened up the skin on her

stump. She loved womping people with her stump. It was like getting kicked by a mule. She'd hardened her stump by pounding river rocks, it was a 40 pound sack of flour and she

earned from a stint modeling for the leading amputee fetish porn mag, "Humpin' Stumps." Hey, a girl has to make a living, but being paid in 40 pound sacks of flour was a little too

heavy after she did more than 1 "job". Besides, the dumpling factory down the street discriminated against anyone with less than a complete set of limbs. So she hopped in her wagon

, moved into position and turned on the gerbils. They pushed and pushed, but there must have been too much weight, even with the missing limbs. "We need a new plan"

said the tallest midget of the bunch. "This gerbil-powered vehicle might be a lemon, after all." So they hooked the tow-cable onto the front and took it back to Honest Lou's to get

This didn't make the car work any better, but the exhaust was now a steady stream of gerbil pellets with lemon fresh scent, an additional selling point for his ecology-minded

friends who believed in going au naturel. He put a bucket under the exhaust pipe with the intention of reusing and recyling the pellets.

However, an orangy goo came out instead. "Better get a robe", he yelled cheerfullynto anyonevstill in earshot.