"I'll take the Whiskey battered bourbon bangers

  • "I'll take the Whiskey battered bourbon bangers and a side of Soho Chips, and for dessert I'll take the deep fried giant Snickers bars, oh, and

  • get me some of the chicken. Is the chicken dairy free?" "No." "Great, the more gluten the better."

  • Farmer Jones gave me a look. "We take great pride in our chickens and that they are all breast and no wings. If you don't like chicken milk then you are at the wrong farm."

  • Ol' Farmer Jones. He was a character. A little too much on the defensive when it came to his chickens & their milk. I decided he was hiding something, so I played coy. "Ya know,

  • I was reading in Farmer's Digest the other day about some crackpots out there who think they can milk their chickens! I mean, can you imagine?! What idiots!" Ol' Farmer Jones grabb

  • ed his crotch and did a little Michael Jackson move as he headed out to collect the cow eggs. At least he thought they were cow eggs. They made lousy omelets, but were plentiful.

  • The customers didn't really notice until the blandness of His Royal Highness's cooking got really off the charts. They added their own salt and pepper, per Kibbles the chimp.

  • Kibbles was determined to take over his Royal Highness's kitchen and spare those few who had survived the bland cooking plague. Most had long lost their minds and the rest their

  • Meandering attentions as they were now clamped brained to do what Those That Tell would tell them. Which, the last time I glimpsed a book, means, functionally, the same thing.

  • K was beginning to really hate how Those Who Tell never told her to tell. Even that small thing they denied her. She could tell it all and maybe real justice could finally see the



  1. St.Molecule Apr 02 2017 @ 17:46

    Light of day.

  2. St.Molecule Apr 02 2017 @ 17:47

    I just remembered there were red letters.

  3. SlimWhitman Apr 03 2017 @ 12:54

    No worries, just grab your crotch and moonwalk outta there...

  4. LordVacuity Apr 03 2017 @ 18:53

    Or we could load him up with Pepsi and shoot him out of a cannon. And set his hair on fire for the laughs.

  5. LordVacuity Apr 03 2017 @ 18:54

    No, better we just give him bad medical advice.

  6. SlimWhitman Apr 04 2017 @ 03:14

    Welp, i think we have left a bad impression. So I'll see if I can patch up the damage: Welcome St.Molecule!

  7. LordVacuity Apr 04 2017 @ 03:31

    Jeesh, St. Molecule, I didn't mean anything by it. I was just joshing around. I didn't mean anything by it, honest, I mean it. Don't be sore at me, okay. I will let you hold my grandmother's glass eye. We will have to wait for her to go to sleep though.

  8. SlimWhitman Apr 04 2017 @ 04:03

    Wow, St.Molecule, that is a sincere apology if I've ever heard one. Futique hasn't event let me touch his grandmother's glass eye! ... Could you tell me what it was like?

  9. Woab Apr 04 2017 @ 16:56

    Don't listen to them, St. Molecule! Futique once made a flaming Pepsi cannon out of me, and I'll tell you right now, I wouldn't do it again even if he let me hold BOTH his grandmother's glass eyes. (Well, maybe I would.)

  10. St.Molecule Apr 06 2017 @ 20:54

    Ok, no harm done.

  11. BlastedHeath Apr 06 2017 @ 22:49

    None at all, and this often happens. TBH, "... could finally see the" would be a completely appropriate ending to many FS stories. Somewhat of an improvement over "I'm sitting here writing in my journal about the horrific calamity about to befall m~~~" ;-)

  12. SlimWhitman Apr 07 2017 @ 13:52

    Arrrrrrggghhhh don't leave us hanging like that BH!

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