Somehow Jasper got himself targeted. From

  • Somehow Jasper got himself targeted. From overhead one could see the PariahNet app subscribers start to converge on him like metal filings toward a magnet. The WNYC news chopper

  • flew off to watch the America's Cup Yatch Race. With the lack of crowd control Subscribers were becomming crushed against each other. The panicked crowd stampeded into a fenced

  • flat screen television killing the Fence. That's how the subscribers saved Ned Titlebaum's TV from being stolen. Now Ned owed his life to them.

  • So ned did all he could to serve the Avengers, like keep quiet about the new movie release dates, walking Hulk to the Anger Management course, listening to Green Arrow when he made

  • a sudden discovery. Wait-a-minute. Green Arrow is in JLA, what is he doing in the Avengers? What happened to Hawkeye? So Ned went on a mission.

  • Four years later, the stock market finally crashed and the Avengers were recruited to help clean up the rubble. It felt like WW2 revisited to Green Arrow. Mass suicides ensued at

  • Whole Foods. Except for the three legged Bagger Shree who hid behind the special on 50 lb bags of cassava, when Green Arrow forced everyone to drink the green Kool-Aid.

  • Unfortunately, the Kool-Aid was gluten-free, but it instead was labeled dairy-free, despite being full of dairy. Most everyone was lactose-intolerant, so

  • nobody drank the milky Kool-Aid and eventually it dried up and became a pink powder that no-one recognized. Aunt Claudia discovered it and patted it onto her underarms. An explosio

  • ipsolitum funesverroonga codicil had been left on her front porch stool. She heard the noise and went to investigate it's source and she became that Season's top Witch as determine



  1. LordVacuity Nov 14 2016 @ 19:18

    My bad. Her full name was determine Ladittle-Ditta DOT COM 900 DIAPERTRUMP. 900 DIAPERTRUMP. Now that rings a bell Greenback Party saluting Weber Gonzalez Mung.

  2. LordVacuity Nov 14 2016 @ 19:19

    Oh wait, that was her sister. Her real name was...

  3. LordVacuity Nov 14 2016 @ 19:22

    A. Mung The message then was assimilation.

  4. BlastedHeath Nov 16 2016 @ 20:40

    I wonder what was going on in December 2012 (not really) because that opening seems like something I would write as a riff on the Pokemon Go phenomenon, which happened more recently. Hmm.

  5. Dhanithecat Nov 16 2016 @ 20:54

    A rare Pokemon indeed. :) I agree.

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