"Hello all! I'm KJ Nutt, hole expert. Did

"Hello all! I'm KJ Nutt, hole expert. Did you know? Holes can be used to stand in! And, they can actually make you appear a bit shorter or 'smaller'.

There is nothing random about holes. They're produced in a negative space factory in Bohemia just outside Karlovy Vary then shipped to cheese producers in vacuum packed pockets

to slap on Swiss cheese. However the negative space factory in Bohemia was expensive. The bottom line forced the owners to create a negative space factory in China where labor

costs were beginning to rise, therefore forcing them, minutes later, to relocate to Burkina Faso. The Chinese were outraged, not only for the lost negative space factory business

but also for the significantly decreased amount on their paycheck. However, things were not about to get better, but much, much, worse. With resources such as oil and wood quickly

dissipating, he looked around the house for something else they could use for fuel. Well, there was his wife's shoes. Hundreds of pairs of shoes just stacked up in the closet. He

hesitantly reached for a pair of Prada pumps first, his fingers barely brushing the patent black leather. Then, remembering the dire situation, he began grabbing shoes from left

to right, like he was hungry. Hungry for expensive shoes. The sound of the alarm broke the silence. It was so strong that it could awaken the dead. So, he had to hurry. The police

wore black sneakers, and would catch up with him in no time. Oh, how he longed for the chewy blandness of police sneakers, but this current catch would be more than worth it.