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Today was the day Hello Kitty took over the

  • Today was the day Hello Kitty took over the world.

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  • It started, innocuous: a back-pack here, a pencil-box there. But then she took over, members of parliament, air-carriers, etc. Hello Kitty everywhere. Badtz-Maru went underground.

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  • But let's get back to Hello Kitty. It was the creation of Hello Kitty that Amanda Payne found she remembered the most. The time when Japanese fashion became the "it" trend

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  • was the time I decided to pour draino down my throat. I died of course. But that was only temporary. I awoke in a third level of some afterworld. I knew who I was but my body

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  • seemed so cleaner now, and no hairballs in my throat! Being dead was kinda cool, I could see people, but they cant see me. Whoa! That gives me an idea, I always wanted to

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  • see if the lottery is really rigged. So, as a ghost I snuck into the lottery room and, yeah, I played with the lotto balls. hehe. Anyway, then it came to have the numbers drawn

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  • and sure enough the process was fair. Yep kinda boring, don't worry the story continues, because the next week I returned, played with more balls, and because I'm a ghost I scared

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  • the shit out of the old lady who lived next door, by appearing in front of her. Of course I unexpectedly had to view some unpleasant things made me almost beg for a second death.

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  • But I ignored the blast of Metameucil-laced breath from her scream in my face & shut my eyes to her torpedo-shaped breasts hanging under her housecoat. "Sorry I startled you, but I

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  • ..." It was no use. I unwrapped her WMD boobs and clasped her to my own heaving bosom. "I couldn't stay away. Tell me you'll be mine forever!" Her hysterical sobs echoed in my ears

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