“Apology accepted, Captain Needa.” Said

“Apology accepted, Captain Needa.” Said Captain Tebow. Needa was the rookie from Wisconsin who was co-Captain with Tebow in today's scrimmage against

the World Champion San Francisco 49ers. Mid-scrimmage, Patrick Willis hit Tebow so hard his head literally separated from his body. The crowd gasped. You could see Tebow's spirit

90 proof spill out onto the green. Amazingly, it was not Tebow's severed head on the ground but the top of a life-size whiskey decanter. "Where 's Tebow?" thought Willis.

and beatitudinal runoff from the Mount. The golf course had been inherited by the meek, and God Tebow saw to it that they had plenty of Hanes shirts to wear. Patrick Willis tackled

His task of hitting all nine holes by magically directing the ball with his mind. He famously claimed he had magical powers and could move mountains if needed.

Of course those were plastic mountains and valleys he was moving, on a miniature golf course. Even so, his entourage of diehard fans were blown away by his gift. He was

promoted to employee of the month 3 weeks later. One of his co-workers even got him a key-chain with 2 golfing balls saying "How d'you like my

balls now?" Still, he was beginning to wonder whether he was really suited to being an undertaker. Maybe he should open a flower shop. Maybe then the bodies wouldn't move around

during embalming. Gravely he considered his options as he worked. He had stiff competition around town, but there weren't many florists. YES! He'd call it "Pushing Daisies".