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The only 2 famous Austrians I can think of

  • The only 2 famous Austrians I can think of are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hitler. Marie Antoinette - was she Austrian?

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  • Does it really matter? The only way to know is to look at their feet. Their feet have six toes and flat soles. They can usually pass for one of us. Schwarzenegger walked like

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  • an enormous dog. He slobbered all over his clothes, and pissed on fire hydrants. He contemplated hobbit feet every so often, throwing stuff off his desk to write important facts do

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  • wn, like "Dogs & hobbits have hairy tufts on their feet, leathery undersoles, & are about as tall as a fire hydrant". Peter Jackson thought he should collect is hobbit aphorisms

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  • and dump them into another movie. Peter Jackson sat there and thought about calling Kevin Smith. PJ started to longingly stare off in emotional overcomeness with a single tear

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  • to be held in reserve should the need ever come for mankind's last tear. It was stored in a doomsday device miles beneath a Waffle House in Round Rock, Texas. It’s location a close

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  • site to a shitty little Gamestop. Ralph S. Mouse careened into the criminals' Waffle House on his bike, spraying bullets into the air. "Run for cover, mother-fuckers!" he yelled.

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  • But Ralph S. Mouse was so tiny that no-one really noticed the spray of bullets. Lefty the Wart heard Ralph's faint expletives and swatted at what he assumed was a flea on his ankle

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  • Ralph S. Mouse decided to call it quits. He wasn't suited for vigilantism. He decided to settle inside the house of a retired deli owner, who agreed to let Ralph live with him.

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  • A few pieces of cheese, the occasional slice of bologna, and Ralph was as happy as could be. That is, until the volcano erupted right under the deli owner's house.

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