So IF by the time this story ends, MoralEnd

So IF by the time this story ends, MoralEnd has over 10,000 points, everyone on FoldingStory is going to Hawaii to celebrate this great milestone in FS history. If he doesn't,

there shall be panic in the streets, prophets decrying the end times as a mathematical limit closes in, and the predicted laws of our universe become subject to arbitrary whim. A

cacophony of tedious wordiness drowned out the fun. People waited, hoping the event horizon would silence the drone of the bizarre diatribe and its penchant for peculiarity. I

paused for breath and that pause continued... my brain had got stuck. All the words I knew had been used up and I was left with Rhianna's 'Umbrella' playing on a loop in my head.

Which is I committed suicide with a breakfast sausage. But the story only begins there. No one can know the horror of discovering what Rhianna's role in the afterlife is.

Rhianna had signed the first ever exclusive deal with the Afterlife. Only her music would ever play in the Afterlife, retroactive to Forever until Eternity. Even Taylor Swift was l

Infuriated by God's lack of response to her emails. His holy servants were embroiled in controversy over the whole notion of a contract with God, who declared it illegal to do that

without the present of a lawyer. However, as a lawyer was not present for this declaration, the servants' decision was irrelevant. She decided that she'd just have to sue God.

In order to sue God, the servant reckoned she would have to find Jesus first. Everyone she knew had mentioned finding that bloke, it couldn't be THAT hard to spot him.

But Jesus, being omnipotent and all, evaded her by donning a pair of round glasses, a striped sweater and wool toque, and slipping into the crowd, never to be found again.