With a loud click, the door shut behind him.

With a loud click, the door shut behind him. He was in a sterile white room. A voice droned, "Mars Sense Deprivation test: Subject A-4." The only thing in the room was a slinky.

And there is nothing more evil than a slinky. It's the dope of the Industrial Revolution. How do you make people become machines? Teach them to play with coiled metal. The Voice

commanded me, "Get your your slinky and play with it. Play with it like you would your [genitalia]." I was hurt and confused, but also ashamed beneath it all. The Robot Voice

adapted to my uneasiness, becoming funkily vocoded and auto-tuned. I approached the intercom from whence the Voice came. "Dr. Robotnik, is that you?" I asked. I could hear beans

being shaken in a homemade marimba. The Voice replied "No talking. Just listen to me, your next challenge is to take the dear Dr. Robotnik back to

planet Mobius. You will help him together with Dr.Robotnick's Robobeatnik mecha to fight Sonic the Hedgehog who rules Mobius together with Queen Aleena in a Hegemony of Hedgerows."

I furiously scribbled notes to keep track of the complex situation. "I think I've got it," I said as I put down my pencil & picked up my weapon. Today Sonic & Aleena would die!

porcupine quills, piano wire, and superglue. The rest of my costume however made me look like a beekeeper, but so what? Queen Aleena and Sonic

the Hedgehog were known for their fabulous outfits. I turned around once, checking myself out in the mirror, nodded in satisfaction, and strode out of the room, ready for action.