I never expected my Craigslist ad to get

I never expected my Craigslist ad to get so many responses - and certainly not from so many men with interesting names. Feldspauch Bercitis, Hronek Shrieves, Mousa Houchen - all

claimed to have extensive dog walking experience & Mimi my pocket chiweenie needs the most careful handling from a master in mind body separation. Feldspauch, Hronek & Mousa rang

for Lurch. "You rang?" he asked in a helium-altered voice. "What's'a'matta wit' you, Lurch?" asked Hronek, the most Hungarian of the three. "It took you almost four seconds to get

the door. "Sorry Sir. Please won't you come IIIN." said Lurch in his Mickey Mouse voice which bottomed out embarrassingly at the end. Hronek pressed a garlic kolbász into Lurch's

maw and squeezed through the door around him. Lurch struggled with the garlic kolbász that Hronek had stuffed in his face. Meanwhile, Hronek was already headed up the stairs toward

the landing, but tripped when the stairs raised up and the pet dragon let out a belch of annoyance. Hronek needed to stop Thing from snagging the Pepsi bottle from the polar bear's

carnivorous jaws, because that is how he got that way in the first place. But Thing never listens, not having any ears. Uncle Fester has to translate for him through a series of

palm tickles and wrist slaps; the entire event is a bit monotonous and exasperating, but, in the end, Thing gets the point and Uncle Fester feels a sense of triumph. Lurch groaned

and went to Morticia, whom he was having an affair with. No fan of birth control, Lurch got her pregnant. A bulge appeared soon after and her only response was “The butler did it!"

Gomez was shocked, but not as shocked as he was when he realised Thing had leant a hand. The offspring off this abominable copulation was named Mr Trump, n Trump up his life he did