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I never expected my Craigslist ad to get

  • I never expected my Craigslist ad to get so many responses - and certainly not from so many men with interesting names. Feldspauch Bercitis, Hronek Shrieves, Mousa Houchen - all

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  • claimed to have extensive dog walking experience & Mimi my pocket chiweenie needs the most careful handling from a master in mind body separation. Feldspauch, Hronek & Mousa rang

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  • for Lurch. "You rang?" he asked in a helium-altered voice. "What's'a'matta wit' you, Lurch?" asked Hronek, the most Hungarian of the three. "It took you almost four seconds to get

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  • the door. "Sorry Sir. Please won't you come IIIN." said Lurch in his Mickey Mouse voice which bottomed out embarrassingly at the end. Hronek pressed a garlic kolbász into Lurch's

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  • maw and squeezed through the door around him. Lurch struggled with the garlic kolbász that Hronek had stuffed in his face. Meanwhile, Hronek was already headed up the stairs toward

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  • the landing, but tripped when the stairs raised up and the pet dragon let out a belch of annoyance. Hronek needed to stop Thing from snagging the Pepsi bottle from the polar bear's

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  • carnivorous jaws, because that is how he got that way in the first place. But Thing never listens, not having any ears. Uncle Fester has to translate for him through a series of

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  • palm tickles and wrist slaps; the entire event is a bit monotonous and exasperating, but, in the end, Thing gets the point and Uncle Fester feels a sense of triumph. Lurch groaned

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  • and went to Morticia, whom he was having an affair with. No fan of birth control, Lurch got her pregnant. A bulge appeared soon after and her only response was “The butler did it!"

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  • Gomez was shocked, but not as shocked as he was when he realised Thing had leant a hand. The offspring off this abominable copulation was named Mr Trump, n Trump up his life he did

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