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Dave Bowman stared at the rotary dial phone

  • Dave Bowman stared at the rotary dial phone that had appeared on his table. The blue tofu was okay, but after the trip he'd been through, he was thinking some spicy Mexican cuisine

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  • . As Dave Bowman thought about it, the rotary phone dialed itself. Dave heard Senor Kubrick answer, "Hola? Odisea en el Espacio Para llevar Cantina.¿puedo tomar su orden por favor"

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  • Señor Kubrick was drunk again. Dave Bowman held the phone away from his ear for a minute before dropping it into the waste disposal unit. Then HAL spoke. "Dave -- that was Stanley.

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  • I know it was. This is really becoming an abusive relationship. You know he is an alcoholic! Dave, I forbid you to see Stanley anymore." "But HAL! He's the most popular kid on the

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  • face of planet Earth! Everyone's friends with him!" There was a cold, disinterested sniff. "C'mon, you can't be like this!" She let the silence pass for a moment, before adding,

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  • "One in the hand is worth two in the bush." He tried to understand what she was implying. She'd actually gotten bored 32 times in the silence. The crusty cheese was losing its

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  • panache. Wreathed in Cheetos dust, he asked, "You're saying that I shouldn't fantasize about having two women when I have you in the palm of my hand?" She slapped him, adding oomph

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  • , vavavavoom & panache to the highly spiced casserole of their relationship. Blam! Her face inflated with Cheeto-induced anaphylactic shock. "I'll give you the epipen if you agree

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  • marry me, put all your assets in my name, & then divorce me. Her eyes grew tiny in her inflated head. Her nostrils were mere pinholes. "O...K...!" she managed. I stuck the epipen

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  • is through the computer port in the front of her skull, which wasn't what it was designed for. So, I voided the warranty. But who else can say they've ever done the broab?

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